Escaping from Reality

Floating weightless with my limbs stretched out, the sun rests on my face softly and the wind rushes across my skin. Clouds drift along, reaching out I can feel the moisture as I drew my arm up towards the ceiling, waved my arm, swishing a cloud right from the sky. The sky was the brightest blue and the clouds could be mistaken for cotton candy. With a click of a switch, the day can turn to night, where I see all the constellations, and make wishes on non-existing falling stars. Lying across my soft down-filled bed, staring into the clouds trying to make out their magical animal shapes, leaving everything evil back on mother earth, I float, I fly away.

The warm gentle breeze came from the south grabbing my attention from the stars above. One more tap on the remote, stars begin to fade as dawn arrives. Seagulls singing praises coming from the beach side mural of my room. At the base of my castle to the shoreline is rare black sand where Sea Turtles nest and their babies are hatched. Waves crash onto the beach, dolphin's in the distance, seagulls flying and hovering, while scouting for food. In the far distance a sailboat that resembles a pirate ship. The ship that might come to shore one day, to rescue, or steal me away from what awaits for me outside these walls. Watching night turn to day my room comes to life. My feather bed sits upon a castle that rests in the center of the room. From my castle the Rocky Mountains line the walls to the north, with snow covering the tops of the highest mountains, with Aspen trees and huge pines spread across the way. Hidden amongst the landscape are the animals that occupy the land; black bear, Mountain Lions, Badgers, wolfs and so many more. Off to the East, my castle overlooks thousands of acres of beautiful fields of hay and corn. Rolling hills and white horse fences with huge fancy stables, where the best race horses live. To the south of my castle is the desert. Cactus, tumble weeds and desert critters roaming about. In the distance the great Grand Canyon rests along the edge. The castle is a little piece of heaven, just short of a fairytale. My fairytale only lives inside this room.


It’s still early. Dawn is breaking and the desert is still cool. Feeling the saddle between my thighs and the reins in my hands, as I rock smoothly along as my big bay horse strides though the sand kicking up dust. The Grand Canyon in the far distance, the cactus stand tall and appear to be waving, the sand paves the way. I place my reins in one hand, freeing the other to run my fingers through my horses beautiful black mane. Tall dark and handsome, he carries me towards the Grand Canyon. A Jack rabbit jumps out from behind a lone tumble weed and my steed glances but doesn't fault. Onward we travel. I slide my hat down my forehead and tie my bandanna tighter around my face to protect me from the sand and the sun. The heat starts to rise. A family of Dipodomys, Kangaroo rats, hop out hoping to see the trespassers and a slow moving tortoise raises his head, and nods us to pass. The sand beneath my horse’s hooves becomes harder, rockier as we reach our destination, the Grand Canyon. Inching closer to the edge I feel the rush of blood as it leaves my face and limbs, looking down miles and miles of Canyon wall. I find myself gripping my saddle horn with both hands and leaning away from the cliff. Incredible! Before, I could only imagine how this looked in real life. Not one book I read, or one story that I heard, not even the pictures I've seen from my parents vacation. Nothing could possibly describe this incredible sight. My eyes suddenly blur, I shut them, squeezing them tight, I blink hard, but nothing seems to help. Confusing voices and random noises are ringing in my ears. Weightlessness, spinning, falling, losing my reins I try grabbing my horses mane but nothing, then the saddle is gone. Waking, from what appears to be a dream, feeling the soft feather bed underneath me. What a beautiful, peaceful, journey I had. Stepping down from my castle steps and onto desert sand carpeting facing the mural I stood staring off in the distance. Finding the place at the edge of the Grand Canyon, the place I left the big bay horse. Hidden in the details of the mural, the painting on my wall, he is still standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, that big beautiful bay horse and he is waiting for my return.


Leaving my dream land of tortoises and cactus's, familiar voices return, louder they climb as if someone is turning up the volume dial on the radio. Placing my hands over my ears, closing out the words, I turned and entered my castle. As I push open the castle door and walk inside, as the lights automatically turn on. They shine in through the windows like beams of sunlight that softly touch the castles room making it sparkle. The red soft cushiony king and queen chairs were placed on the back wall inviting who ever enters. The castle walls were made of solid oak and book shelves built into each wall and they were filled with hundreds of the best classic books ever written. I grabbed a book and crawled into the king's chair, curled up, and started to read. Off I went, in a new world reading. I wasn’t fond of books before, well before. Watching television and playing Xbox, and Wii was a daily activity. Hanging out down stairs with the family was fun, we played, we talked, we ate dinner together and they even helped me with my homework. That was before, before my parents left me. I can hear them downstairs, their new voices, at least when they are awake. So, now I read and I dream. I dream of anything, anything other than my own life.

My senses where awaken me from my book. The faint sound of the ocean, waves softly rolling up onto the sand and the cries of seagulls in the distance drove my curiosity. Driving me from the castle I stepped out and onto the black rich sand. The sand engulfed my toes and the warm bright sun blinded me for a moment as my eyes adjusted and the sun danced on the ocean. The breeze whisked the hair from my face and cooled the sun’s rays. I walked closer to the shore line avoiding the water and sat down to fondle the shimmering black sand while staring off into the distance. The ocean looks endless. A dolphin jumps for a meal, or to shake a freeloading sucker shark from its side. Further out and to the west a large sailboat with all of its sails put to use. It’s sailing towards shore, as the sun begins to set. With another click of a button the sun begins to set. Another click of a button, the wind picks up and the ocean crashes against the shore louder. Birds are heard, palm fronds sway as the sun lowers. The most amazing time of the day is when the sun touches the ocean and slowly lowers itself out of sight and the last moment the sun is visible it flashes green. The flash is faster than a blink of an eye, as the sun says its farewell for the day.


I was nine years old when I first noticed. Nine years, seven months and fifteen days to be exact. The day I had to walk home from school alone, the day my parents forgot to pick me up. I will not talk of this day, the memory is unspeakable. How can anyone talk about their own parents forgetting you at school and then worse, forgetting you exist? Who can admit that their parents love a bottle of booze or a bottle of pills more than them? Just forget about it! They will forget the day, and I can go make myself something to eat and sneak back to my castle after the yelling subsides.


I’ve made a picnic lunch to enjoy out in the back yard. Smelling the fresh cut grass and watching the farmer roll his hay in the distance. Along the white horse fence, a mare and foal stand facing me. The foal throws his head and gallops in my direction and the mother whinny’s and calls for her foal. They gallop closer and ….

Another day … another story but today I can try and escape by means of imagination.



The Following is straight from a National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA). Really it’s just the tip of iceberg.


Parental substance abuse interrupts a child’s normal development, which places these youngsters at higher risk for emotional, physical and mental health problems. Because parents who abuse alcohol or other drugs are more likely to be involved with domestic violence, divorce, unemployment, mental illness and legal problems, their ability to parent effectively is severely compromised. There is a higher prevalence of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and suicide attempts among COAs than among their peers. In addition, COAs are 3-4 times more likely than others to become addicted to alcohol or other drugs themselves.

In homes where a parent is abusing substances, physical and sexual abuse of children is more likely. Sexual abuse is more frequent in chaotic and dysfunctional families where communication has broken down and roles have been blurred. Children who live in high conflict homes are more likely to have lower self-esteem and less internal locus of control. This puts COAs/COSAs at higher risk for being re-victimized in the future. For instance, female COAs are more likely to be involved with men who abuse substances, which leaves them open to even more abuse.


Even if the children themselves are not themselves victimized by family violence, simply witnessing violence can have emotionally destructive consequences. COAs are six times more likely to witness spousal abuse than are other children.

As a result of these stressors, COAs/COSAs often have difficulty in school. They may be unable to focus on their school work due to the conflicts and tensions at home. They are also more likely than their peers to have learning disabilities, be truant, repeat more grades, transfer schools and be expelled.