Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Who's Homework Is It Anyway?

Who's homework is it, anyway?

A mom emailed me this note right before school started:

"Good Morning. I was up half the night. I am so stressed out that I won't be able to help my daughter with her school work. Help!"

My answer:

Ok
#1. It's only middle school, you can breathe
#2. It's her homework, not your homework
#3. This is the perfect time in life for you to let her take full responsibility for her actions.
It is hard as heck not to help them when you can, but this is the way they grow up to be responsible adults.
#4. Your job is simple. Just make sure she is doing her job (homework).
#5. Quiz her for tests and exams even if she doesn't think she needs it.
#6. Stay on top of it at all times, you slip (or relax) and she will too!
#7. Remember, No homework will be assigned that wasn't covered in class.
If the homework instructions, or problems, are not clear, it's her fault she didn't ask at school. Again, not your fault.

Learning responsibility and the consequences are two reasons middle school is so difficult for kids. If you "feel sorry" for them and do their homework for them in middle school, be prepared to do their work as adults.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Freedom is Never Free!

Remembering: Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a national day of remembrance in honor of those who have died to obtain and preserve our USA freedoms.
War casualties: Revolutionary War (1775-1783) 4,435 total deaths. War of 1812 2,260 total deaths. Mexican War (1846-1848) 12,283 total deaths. Civil War (1861--1865) 364,511 total deaths. Spanish-American War (1898-11901) 2,446 total deaths. World War I (1917-1918) 116,516 total deaths. World War II (1941-1946) 405,399 total deaths. Korean War (1950-1953) 36,574 total deaths. Vietnam (1964-1973) 58,220 total deaths. Persian Gulf War (1990-1991) 383 total deaths. Iraq War (2003-current) 4,421 (as of mid April).
Freedom is never free!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Valentine Eve - Random Act of Kindness

Today’s Random Act of Kindness … Valentine’s Eve day, I was at our local Wal-Mart along with a third of the town's population, searching for that perfect little Valentine’s treat. While exiting, a gust of wind stripped a heart-shaped balloon from an elderly lady’s hand. The helium was not fresh, so the heart-shaped balloon bounced wickedly along the ground. I ran forward with the cart trying to trap the balloon, but it escaped. Leaving my cart behind, I went running after this wild balloon. It danced, I danced. It swirled and I swirled, we spun and we dashed. Huffing and puffing, panting and laughing, I jumped high batting it back to the ground as the wind hurled it once more. I heard the elderly lady cheer as I finally grabbed hold. As I held the balloon, I noticed the highly amused audience that had gathered. I could do nothing but laugh harder at myself to hide my total embarrassment. Carefully I handed the balloon over to its owner, knowing I looked like some crazed lady chasing a balloon in the parking lot. The woman gently touched my arm and thanked me. I looked her in the eyes as she told me that this special balloon was for her husband’s grave and she didn’t know what to do if I didn’t catch it. My heart sunk and skipped a beat as the laughter from the audience faded. This evening my heart smiles because I gave that extra effort and sacrificed looking like a buffoon to make this Valentine’s brighter for a complete stranger.

Random Act of Kindness with a Twist

Yoga might not appeal to a person that seems as flexible as a two-by-four. Who would want to make spectacle of themselves by attending a Yoga class without the ability to touch your toes? The thought of a Yoga class gave me nightmarish visions, because yes, I am the two-by-four. I started hearing more and more people talk about Pilates, curiosity was evident, however, every person that spoke passionately using the word Pilates were undeniably health and fitness freaks. You know the type; tall, skinny, great posture and you never-ever see them eat a dessert. Yes, that type! Pilates and Yoga became taboo.


Random acts of kindness drives my everyday life. Whether it is picking up something that someone else dropped, holding a door open for a stranger, and sometimes it’s a much bigger act. Random acts are rarely returned, but that is not the point. The gain is how good it makes you feel. Unexpectedly I received a gift for what was a random act of kindness. A one hour private Pilates session and the appointment was already made for 11:00AM on Tuesday. No wiggle room there, I had to go or be rude! Not knowing what to expect or what to do, I went. Yoga, I still haven’t tried, but this Pilates “thing” I haven’t stopped going! Once a week or more, I attend a session. It has improved my flexibility, strength and posture. Personally, my lower back no longer aches every day and I noticed I now have incredible balance. Adding Pilates to my weekly exercise routine has given me amazing results.


A reward for a random act of kindness is rare, especially a full hour Pilates session. This note from me to you … is a random act of kindness. My goal is to entice you to attend a Pilates class, even if you too are a two-by-four.



Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Add As Friend - Follow Me

Approximately eight years ago, I was introduced to social networking. My Space and Facebook took our schools and our teens by storm. Our teenagers and our preteens were sucked into their computers checking status updates and “friending” everyone they knew and meeting online people who became their “friends”.


My son and I were surfing around Facebook, reading some newly posted status and uploaded pictures. We clicked through the images of his classmates, laughing at fun pictures of embarrassing moments caught on camera. One more click and total silence flooded the room. My son, stood up and walked away embarrassed. I was left with the images, as they burned into my brain.


Uncertain about telling the girl’s mother about the pictures, but at the same time assuming her parents knew nothing about them, I decided it was necessary to snitch. As a parent I would like to know if my teen, or pre-teen, posted pictures on the world wide web that may incriminate or expel them from school. Approaching the mom was awkward, but necessary. I found out that the mom knew about the pictures, in short, she told me, “to fuck off.” She informed me it was only an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and her seventh grade daughter was just having some fun. Wow! .... Wow! Her final words to me, “mind your own fucking business.” What an introduction to social networking and the ignorance of parenting. Lesson taught!


The irresponsible youth, and the ill-advised or uncaring parents can ultimately destroy lives. Knowing how to "work" the social networking products is what makes them amazing. Be aware, universities and future employers can peek at their future students and employees social networking pages, or “walls”. This helps the secondary schools, universities, and the corporations decide who they want representing their institution. Don't let that little lock symbol and little privacy button fool you. They can view your "Friends Only" accounts.


If adults can get "slammed" on social networking sites, think of the devastation it can have on young teens. Facebook has an age minimum requirement of thirteen, however I have FB "friends" that are younger. Twelve year-olds are updating their “single” and “in a relationship” status every day. The next post is a new updated profile picture of them kissing their new significant “in a relationship” partner. I’m curious wondering if any of the parents are monitoring these updates. Don't get me wrong, I love social networking. My Facebook "friends" and my Twitter follower’s rock! Eight years ago my kids who "let me" peek at their friend’s “walls.” Now I have my own account and my kids were crazy enough to accept me as their “friend.” I don't snoop or “stalk” walls, but I do enjoy commenting on updates on my News Feed, this helps me stay connected to my Facebook "Friends". I use Twitter because I love to read and learn from all of the tweets. I don't have a lot of personal contacts on Twitter, but I do love reading tweets, especially inspirational quotes, and I could spend hours checking out people's blogs if I had the time.


So, add me as friend or follow me on Twitter. I encourage positive tweets and status updates, whinnying comes with it, but people in this world need encouragement, inspiration, reinforcement and as well as well wishes. I urge you to share optimism, it can go along way!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Life Lessons


“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it” ~ Lyndon Johnson

In life, everyday there are lessons learned. If you evaluate each lesson, you can hope for improvement as a person. Realizing the experience is a mechanism, it will allow you to engage in a life with rewards. If you ignore them, your life lessons, it could possibly cause stupidity and ignorance. Wouldn’t you want to embrace your failures and succeed, rather than settle for mediocrity?

When is the time to reflect and time to acknowledge life lessons? I will use myself as an example. I’m one of the hardest headed, stubborn people I know. Lessons learned had to be walloped across my head before I realized the lesson being taught. Yes, now is the time to reflect and realize that your everyday occurrences are your life lessons. Take what you can, digest it but make the experience your own! Two or more people can share an experience however they’ll end with different synopses. Embrace each lesson because it’s so easy to let them slip by.

Lessons of Lies and Truths! I learned early in life that keeping track of lies, impossible and too complicated, so telling the Truth prevails! Another lessons learned, another experience taken. Why do so many people lie? Are people too ignorant to see that they are ultimately teaching their kids to lie? A lie told, is a disappointment for all.

We can recall the bumps in the road, or the walls we hit, and the trials and tribulations of our youth. Recently my youth’s actions were slammed in my face like a ten pound snowball being thrown by a major league pitcher. As a youngster, I was a shy, extremely reserved, and I had very little confidence. Then I was tossed into the ring, a real show ring, there I was trained as well as the horses I rode. My instructor was world renowned and under her instruction I won multiple championship titles. Being a champion, did that caused an uprising of a teenage monster? I started questioning myself, and my actions of my past. Was I a little teenage bitch? I was quiet, very competitive, and was disliked by other competitors because I 'cleaned house' most every time I entered the show ring. So was I, you know, a bitch? I was the type of person who practiced continuously, most of my teenage life I put aside, to excel and be my best at riding horses. My trainer empowered me and my competitive nature and talent did the rest. My twelve year old niece came to live with us six months ago and I found myself saying these words; "You may be the princess but I am the queen." The equestrian lessons I learned, priceless! My social behavior, maybe in question, however my recollections of the countless lessons are invaluable, inside and outside of the show ring.

Today’s challenge would be to convince my niece not to take the hard road, and to avoid brick walls. Passing on my life lessons, tools that will help her succeed and vault her into becoming the wonderful young lady that she has the potential to be. Using life lessons to help someone else, seems nearly impossible. Some things you simply have to learn for yourself. Sometimes you just have to learn from hitting your walls.

A new life challenge seems impossible since teenagers seem to have it all under control. Here are a few quotes I’ve collected: “You don’t understand” followed by “but it won’t happen to me” and then the final and my least favorite teenage quote “I know!” Teenage boys, almost a piece of cake, but teenage girls are a whole other cake recipe all together. Angel Food Cake vs. Devil’s Food Cake

"Develop success from failures." ~ Dale Carnegie

The last thing we want is for our children to fail. We can guide them, teach them, but they need their own hills to climb and even tumble down. We can only pick them up, dust them off and let them continue on their own life journey. As we sit, hoping and praying, that they succeed.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Write What I Know!

Sitting and watching middle school basketball games is my Saturday activity, now that I'm guardian of my twelve year old niece. Every game this season, I sat on the cold hard bleachers cheering for her, while she cheers for her team. I sat and observe people, parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and friends, who attended the game. It's been years since I sat and watched a middle school basketball game. My oldest son played basketball through his senior year of high school and even considered playing at the University of Central Florida. I would have loved to see that since right now UCF has a 12-0 season record, but I regress, back to middle school basketball games.

Game after game, I've been listening to parents fuss at the referees. The shouting escalates to screaming. Soon parents start yelling at coaches and then yelling in the direction of the players. I'm wondering if anyone takes into consideration that the players are only twelve to fifteen years old. It is inconceivable that parents are screaming at the kids!

I have watched parents actually stop the coach before the locker room, both at half time and after the games. I assume the parents are complaining about the coaching or that their kid was not getting enough playing time. I assume this because of the parent’s body language. However, it’s not only the parent’s bad manners I am observing. After attending every middle school game this season I witnessed the opposing cheerleaders cheer "Miss It" while my niece’s middle school team attempts free throws. Really! Is this acceptable behavior? Is it the parenting or coaching?

I know that sports have changed. It’s simply; terrible sportsmanship that I observed. Our society IS what we teach! And that is What I Know!