Can We Do It? Asked A Dear Old Friend

“Can we do it?” asked a dear old friend.

He moved to California with wife and their two daughters. He started a promising business that leaped into profit margins. So what could go wrong? One decision at a time, along with some bad luck, this California dream crashed alongside our nation’s economy. Pleading for help he e-mailed his closest friends and family. Struggling for words, wisdom, knowledge and encouragement I replied the only way I knew how. I replied with my whole heart … and the only two cents I had.

In reply to your e-mail I would like to first say I love you and your family and in no way shape or form believe that you should be “embarrassed” and I have not criticized you or your family in any way. As far as Lexis’s “accident” that is what it was … an accident. It could happen to anyone of us! I sent a heartfelt letter to the judge and I hope you took the time to read it because it was written from my heart.

The list you supplied was in fact incomplete. Making your point that no way you can live off $500.00 per week paying for these extras, you didn’t include the basic electric, water/sewer, cable, gas, nor did you include all insurances, car payments, taxes and your rent.

I really want to add, You Are NOT Alone! The frustration, anger, aggravation and distress you expressed are felt by most, if not ALL American’s during these economic hard times. Hard Times … I too lost most my investment income, my kids savings and now my job. We are learning how to deal with the loss of income and will set ourselves back with tuitions and some extra curriculum activities like guitar lessons, but feel the importance of each one and most important is keeping my son enrolled at his private school for his senior year. We are feeling it, living it too. However we are not feeling the loss near as much as our friends, our neighbors, our fellow Americans. They are losing their homes. I don’t mean selling them for a loss. They have to walk away with only things they can fit in a bag and in the car and simply leave. They don’t know where their next night will be spent, where their kids will sleep and if they will eat the next meal. Some still have their jobs, but thousands and hundreds of thousands no longer have that. So when life seems to suck so much you can’t stand it, look on the other side of the fence, street or town. You have the $500.00 a week, plus Lexis’s income, plus a mom and dad that help out some when they can. You have three cars, a roof over your head, clothes in your closet, computers, TV’s, food in your pantry and most of all … you have family that LOVE you. Remember all of us and the support you have had at your daughter’s graduation just this past June!!!

Any suggestions … Maybe? Lita is now 18 and can get a full time 40 hour a week job and help pull some weight, if she would. She can learn how important her help can be for her family. What a great life lesson and I know it would be a hard sacrifice for her, but the rewards she would be given by lessoning the stress of her family would be remarkable. Carly, now eleven, can arrange play dates at the public, park or beach. The true lesson she could learn is that no matter what you have or don’t have a true friend is a friend no matter what! No one should be judged on their material possessions, and a true friend wouldn’t care about any of that. Gym membership is important however I started walking our dog in March, added bike riding with my youngest son and now have lost 40lbs. No gym needed. If you dedicate your time with your dog(s), instead of the gym, go for walks … then add family members to the walk … then you have your dogs exhausted (and pooped), Carly out of the house for some fresh air, you exercised and other family joins in … you might start talking and you have free family therapy! Something to think about!?!

Lastly, I want you to take a long hard look at your family. Times are hard, this bump in the road is a big one, but look at them! They are beautiful, healthy, smart and full of love. The happiness and love may be pushed WAY down deep right now, but you know it lies within them and you. Don’t dwell on the past, what could have, would have, might have been(s)… now is the time to look forward. Too late to change the past, but you CAN guide what is ahead. To survive you can’t live in the past, “stay NOW” focus on your future. Leave behind what you can’t change and deal with what lies ahead … one day at a time.

Can you do it? In my mind, I see your troubles and worries. In my heart, I know you can!