Escaping from Reality

Floating weightless with my limbs stretched out, the sun rests on my face softly and the wind rushes across my skin. Clouds drift along, reaching out I can feel the moisture as I drew my arm up towards the ceiling, waved my arm, swishing a cloud right from the sky. The sky was the brightest blue and the clouds could be mistaken for cotton candy. With a click of a switch, the day can turn to night, where I see all the constellations, and make wishes on non-existing falling stars. Lying across my soft down-filled bed, staring into the clouds trying to make out their magical animal shapes, leaving everything evil back on mother earth, I float, I fly away.

The warm gentle breeze came from the south grabbing my attention from the stars above. One more tap on the remote, stars begin to fade as dawn arrives. Seagulls singing praises coming from the beach side mural of my room. At the base of my castle to the shoreline is rare black sand where Sea Turtles nest and their babies are hatched. Waves crash onto the beach, dolphin's in the distance, seagulls flying and hovering, while scouting for food. In the far distance a sailboat that resembles a pirate ship. The ship that might come to shore one day, to rescue, or steal me away from what awaits for me outside these walls. Watching night turn to day my room comes to life. My feather bed sits upon a castle that rests in the center of the room. From my castle the Rocky Mountains line the walls to the north, with snow covering the tops of the highest mountains, with Aspen trees and huge pines spread across the way. Hidden amongst the landscape are the animals that occupy the land; black bear, Mountain Lions, Badgers, wolfs and so many more. Off to the East, my castle overlooks thousands of acres of beautiful fields of hay and corn. Rolling hills and white horse fences with huge fancy stables, where the best race horses live. To the south of my castle is the desert. Cactus, tumble weeds and desert critters roaming about. In the distance the great Grand Canyon rests along the edge. The castle is a little piece of heaven, just short of a fairytale. My fairytale only lives inside this room.


It’s still early. Dawn is breaking and the desert is still cool. Feeling the saddle between my thighs and the reins in my hands, as I rock smoothly along as my big bay horse strides though the sand kicking up dust. The Grand Canyon in the far distance, the cactus stand tall and appear to be waving, the sand paves the way. I place my reins in one hand, freeing the other to run my fingers through my horses beautiful black mane. Tall dark and handsome, he carries me towards the Grand Canyon. A Jack rabbit jumps out from behind a lone tumble weed and my steed glances but doesn't fault. Onward we travel. I slide my hat down my forehead and tie my bandanna tighter around my face to protect me from the sand and the sun. The heat starts to rise. A family of Dipodomys, Kangaroo rats, hop out hoping to see the trespassers and a slow moving tortoise raises his head, and nods us to pass. The sand beneath my horse’s hooves becomes harder, rockier as we reach our destination, the Grand Canyon. Inching closer to the edge I feel the rush of blood as it leaves my face and limbs, looking down miles and miles of Canyon wall. I find myself gripping my saddle horn with both hands and leaning away from the cliff. Incredible! Before, I could only imagine how this looked in real life. Not one book I read, or one story that I heard, not even the pictures I've seen from my parents vacation. Nothing could possibly describe this incredible sight. My eyes suddenly blur, I shut them, squeezing them tight, I blink hard, but nothing seems to help. Confusing voices and random noises are ringing in my ears. Weightlessness, spinning, falling, losing my reins I try grabbing my horses mane but nothing, then the saddle is gone. Waking, from what appears to be a dream, feeling the soft feather bed underneath me. What a beautiful, peaceful, journey I had. Stepping down from my castle steps and onto desert sand carpeting facing the mural I stood staring off in the distance. Finding the place at the edge of the Grand Canyon, the place I left the big bay horse. Hidden in the details of the mural, the painting on my wall, he is still standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, that big beautiful bay horse and he is waiting for my return.


Leaving my dream land of tortoises and cactus's, familiar voices return, louder they climb as if someone is turning up the volume dial on the radio. Placing my hands over my ears, closing out the words, I turned and entered my castle. As I push open the castle door and walk inside, as the lights automatically turn on. They shine in through the windows like beams of sunlight that softly touch the castles room making it sparkle. The red soft cushiony king and queen chairs were placed on the back wall inviting who ever enters. The castle walls were made of solid oak and book shelves built into each wall and they were filled with hundreds of the best classic books ever written. I grabbed a book and crawled into the king's chair, curled up, and started to read. Off I went, in a new world reading. I wasn’t fond of books before, well before. Watching television and playing Xbox, and Wii was a daily activity. Hanging out down stairs with the family was fun, we played, we talked, we ate dinner together and they even helped me with my homework. That was before, before my parents left me. I can hear them downstairs, their new voices, at least when they are awake. So, now I read and I dream. I dream of anything, anything other than my own life.

My senses where awaken me from my book. The faint sound of the ocean, waves softly rolling up onto the sand and the cries of seagulls in the distance drove my curiosity. Driving me from the castle I stepped out and onto the black rich sand. The sand engulfed my toes and the warm bright sun blinded me for a moment as my eyes adjusted and the sun danced on the ocean. The breeze whisked the hair from my face and cooled the sun’s rays. I walked closer to the shore line avoiding the water and sat down to fondle the shimmering black sand while staring off into the distance. The ocean looks endless. A dolphin jumps for a meal, or to shake a freeloading sucker shark from its side. Further out and to the west a large sailboat with all of its sails put to use. It’s sailing towards shore, as the sun begins to set. With another click of a button the sun begins to set. Another click of a button, the wind picks up and the ocean crashes against the shore louder. Birds are heard, palm fronds sway as the sun lowers. The most amazing time of the day is when the sun touches the ocean and slowly lowers itself out of sight and the last moment the sun is visible it flashes green. The flash is faster than a blink of an eye, as the sun says its farewell for the day.


I was nine years old when I first noticed. Nine years, seven months and fifteen days to be exact. The day I had to walk home from school alone, the day my parents forgot to pick me up. I will not talk of this day, the memory is unspeakable. How can anyone talk about their own parents forgetting you at school and then worse, forgetting you exist? Who can admit that their parents love a bottle of booze or a bottle of pills more than them? Just forget about it! They will forget the day, and I can go make myself something to eat and sneak back to my castle after the yelling subsides.


I’ve made a picnic lunch to enjoy out in the back yard. Smelling the fresh cut grass and watching the farmer roll his hay in the distance. Along the white horse fence, a mare and foal stand facing me. The foal throws his head and gallops in my direction and the mother whinny’s and calls for her foal. They gallop closer and ….

Another day … another story but today I can try and escape by means of imagination.



The Following is straight from a National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA). Really it’s just the tip of iceberg.


Parental substance abuse interrupts a child’s normal development, which places these youngsters at higher risk for emotional, physical and mental health problems. Because parents who abuse alcohol or other drugs are more likely to be involved with domestic violence, divorce, unemployment, mental illness and legal problems, their ability to parent effectively is severely compromised. There is a higher prevalence of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and suicide attempts among COAs than among their peers. In addition, COAs are 3-4 times more likely than others to become addicted to alcohol or other drugs themselves.

In homes where a parent is abusing substances, physical and sexual abuse of children is more likely. Sexual abuse is more frequent in chaotic and dysfunctional families where communication has broken down and roles have been blurred. Children who live in high conflict homes are more likely to have lower self-esteem and less internal locus of control. This puts COAs/COSAs at higher risk for being re-victimized in the future. For instance, female COAs are more likely to be involved with men who abuse substances, which leaves them open to even more abuse.


Even if the children themselves are not themselves victimized by family violence, simply witnessing violence can have emotionally destructive consequences. COAs are six times more likely to witness spousal abuse than are other children.

As a result of these stressors, COAs/COSAs often have difficulty in school. They may be unable to focus on their school work due to the conflicts and tensions at home. They are also more likely than their peers to have learning disabilities, be truant, repeat more grades, transfer schools and be expelled.

To Enter or Not to Enter?

To Enter, or Not to Enter?

In times where reality television and social media are abundant, restaurants and bars should be at their best at all times. Social media has changed the meaning of "word of mouth" and experiences can be shared at 4G speeds. The first observations, the decor, cleanliness can all be noted and shared. Good or bad service can be entered in the next tweet, foursquare or Facebook post and pictured in an instant on Instagram. Patron’s senses are awakened from reality shows such as Bar Rescue and Restaurant Impossible. This is leaving consumers with little tolerance for laziness, attentiveness and lack of proper service from any restaurant. Patrons eyes are wide open and they are connected. Restaurants can fail in a small town as fast as an app is opened, tweets are posted, Facebook statuses are updated and people skim reviews on Yelp! Dine or ditch? Instant reviews, made by everyday consumers, will persuade other’s to indulge or flee! You decide because it’s your time and money. We the people, the consumers, will do the advertising. It’s truly a restaurants fate at our fingertips.

The Music In Me

A seven year old might think when sticking their head out a car's window singing self composed songs into the wind that no one could hear them. One seven year old might be very very wrong! Adults could nurture this creativity, or smash it! Unfortunately for this little seven year old, the embarrassment her parents caused when they teased her at their destination caused her to stuff that creativity deep, deep inside.
 An art teacher told me once that my drawing wasn't any good because I didn't stay in the lines with my crayons. She didn't see that I had ignored the lines and drew my own picture. I didn't want to color the dolls sitting having tea, I wanted to draw a horse in a field of flowers. Then shortly after, my crayons were taken away. Those memories still infuriate me knowing my creative sparks were demolished at such a young age.
 Nurturing the artist within. I have tried my best to turn the reins free on artistic creativity for my three sons. Each of them have a creative gift, and if they make it their career or hobby is totally up to them. If I'm lucky, they share bits of their creative works with me and I treasure each of them. The next time a child shares their "gift" with you, remember to embrace it, don't snuff out their spark. What would have happened if Mozart's piano was taken away or Leonardo Da Vinci never painted? I believe art can change the world and make it a better place.
 I once heard, that music makes the world go around.

Within

Finding inner beauty can be one of the most difficult tasks. True, if one has been beaten down for years and recently a medical issue turn outside beauty into nightmarish freak show. The world has been turned inside out and upside down, and inner pain strikes far worse than the pain from medication slowly burning the cancer from my face and body. One day, not too long ago, I was told I had no idea how it felt to be disliked because of being voluptuous and alluring. My vocabulary slipped from my mind, words were lost and my flesh stung as if a hand thrust across my face and a fist jabbed deep into my gut. After eight surgeries removing skin cancer, I agreed with the specialists to begin a treatment that would bring out precancerous skin cells and destroy them before needing surgery. What we didn't expect, the precancerous skin cells would cover most of my face, down my neck and my chest. Flu like symptoms sometimes cause me to stay in bed, and most days the burning heat that rises from the affected areas seem unbearable. Makeup burns, exercise sweat is torture and sunlight rays dancing on my skin act as thousands of needles stomping on open wounds. Beauty from within is difficult to conger up when humans torture us with their words and actions. The lesson: remove those around you that make you feel unacceptable, inferior or substandard in any way. It's true that my outward beauty has disappeared temporary but my inner allure will prevail if I surround myself with loving people who can see me for who I am. I suggest you do the same. Learn from others, be kind to one another, and treat others how you wish to be treated. Find beauty from within!

A Magical & Universal Escape

At Hogwarts we followed Harry riding a Nimbus 2000 and drank frozen Butter beer while enjoying chocolate covered frogs. Rocked out with Jukebox The Ghost, and completely wowed by their performance standing at the edge of the stage. We went Soarin around northern California, traveled around the world on foot, flew to Mars, we worked in a car testing factory before we ate dinner in a fish tank. Two nights we ate with a Tigger and his friends in a crystal palace but the best dinner of all was at grandma and grandpas house, where the youngest whooped us at scrabble and the Magic put out the Heat. We played 36 holes of golf on a mouse's course, hunted for paint brushes with a rebel named Tom on his very own island, rode a big eared elephant and then flew with some kids to Never Land, traveled to space, saw progress, shot aliens, an alien belched in my face after he escaped from prison, we helped power a monster's planet, followed a rabbit off a mountain and got soaked, rode a train to see the new castles, found out a house was haunted and then got chased by a Yeti, and took pictures of a rhino sniffing my jeep in Africa. We met people from all over the world and even some from Rome; it's such a Small World after all! We witnessed 'a kiss' save a life and learned a blustery day can turn into a party. We went for some tea, and the super sized cups turned us green. I learned that kids of all ages will stand in lines to talk to a portal in a wall, and that no matter how long a line, families bond. We snuck back stage passes and a ride in Aerosmith's limo, our hotel was struck by lightning and our elevator dropped thirteen floors. We escaped Darth Vader, experienced 'the movies' and saw a pig sing. Witnessed a duck swipe a mouse's magical hat and get attacked by musical instruments. Watched fireworks from our room and under a huge castle and suddenly the adventures came to a halt. Reality was knocking at our door, but I hear characters calling our names for our next magical and universal escape. Listen carefully, I bet you can hear them too.

Dear Annie:

Dear Annie: Really confused on what to do right now. I have to figure out and make the biggest decision I've ever made. thanks - really confused

Dear Really Confused:

Look deep inside your heart and use every bit of your mind.

Big decisions are to be made in your life.

Talk to friends and family members, listen to everyone carefully.

Write out the pros and the cons for everything and weigh them honestly.

Take the time and listen to others, many others … several others.

It's your life, your decision.

Ask people who have "been there" and "did that."

Seek advice from those who have lived at least twice your life.

There is a reason for the saying, wise old owls.

No one wants you to fail.

Learn to pray, even attend a Church service.

Ultimately, it's your choice and you will have to live with it.

Not only today, tomorrow, but the years ahead.

Good luck. I will be praying for you.

~Annie

The Big C

Closing my eyes, I lifted my face into the warmth of the sun. The salty wind rushed over my bare skin. Skin covered only by my favorite two piece suit. I sat on the bow of our 52 foot Gulf Star sailboat as it cut through the clear blue waters of the Caribbean. It was truly my favorite place to hang out when growing up on that sailboat. There wasn't a better place to let your mind free and get away from family in the tight quarters of our boat in which we called home.

The years spent on our boat were the leading cause of my skin cancer. Basil or Melanoma, my body has no predigest to which one, and it shows up whenever and wherever it wants. Not like my fellow cancer waiting roommates, I am thirty, sometimes forty years their junior. Skin cancer didn't wait on me, nor did it have any formal announcement, it just arrived.

Hearing the doctor say the C word, "you have cancer" doesn't get easier, it's less shocking, but the C word is becoming a nuisance and it’s not quite as easy as people say. "Skin cancer is no big deal, you just have it cut out and it's gone." I can't tell you how many dozen times I've heard that statement. If only they could walk in a skin cancer patients shoes, once! Not that I wish the C word on anyone, no way!

Reading and hearing stories of people battling cancer, makes my encounters with the big C seem like a walk in the park. I honestly couldn't imagine being so brave and so courageous. Through the throbbing of my ear, recovering from having a third hole punched out if it and reconstructive surgery ahead, I feel like a wimp, and can only sit feeling helpless as I pray for all cancer patients. Wishing I could be more like the brave people who are fighting a much bigger battle! However, no cancer is simply a "walk in the park" and no one should invalidate you.

Welcoming the rest, I sit feeling blood running into my inner ear and hoping for a fast recovery, and praying this will be my last encounter with the big C. Closing my eyes my mind drifts as I dream of the sun on my face and the breeze across my body. But this time I'm protected wearing sun screen, new fashionable sun protected clothing and a hat! 

Trying to Hold It In

Twenty two years of being a mom and I'm still trying to figure it out.

 Until you're a parent the word love is tossed around, used and even abused. The creation and the unborn child gives you a glimmer of a glimpse of the real meaning of love. However, when he or she enters the world and is placed in your arms is when you realize any use of the word "love" prior had no meaning in comparison.

 It's not hard to figure out that a parents love for their child is unconditional and unbelievably strong. So, when a new parent boast and brag about their child's firsts, it's easy to smile and reminisce about your own children's firsts. It's almost painful to keep your stories inside.

 Brag in front of your adult or teen children and be prepared for some backlash. You're proud of them and you want everyone to know their talents and successes. But somewhere is drawn a very fine invisible line. Each child has a unique set of unwritten rules and boundaries that a parent must honor. My best advice is know their boundaries and seriously honor them, and do your best to respect them.

 Special talents are especially hard for a parent to hold in. It's cute to brag about your new born or toddler, it's annoying if they are any older. You might as well be saying, "my kids better than your kid." my children are talented in different ways, even talents I'm discovering as they become adults, but I didn't realize my friends were thinking to themselves, "kill me before she says anything else about another one of her children." I now try to Hold It In!

 Learning to hold it in! Painful, was learning that friends, even my closest friends, secretly didn't want to hear of my children's accomplishments. Serenity Prayer pops in my mind and I truly put these meaningful words to use.

 God, grant me the serenity to accept 

The things I can not change, 

Courage to change the things I can, 

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 Accept the things I can not change ... I'm not willing to drop my friends for how they feel, I love them for who they are, I'm not going to change them. I know I can change by being more sensitive on what topics I bring to the table. This would help not only my friendships but my trust and relationships with my children.

 The most important lesson learned is respecting my children's privacy and their boundaries. This respect would limit, if not omit, simply talking about my children to others. Twenty two years as a mom and I'm still learning in baby steps.

 Every parent with multiple children know that each child has different traits, attitudes and personalities. Boundaries vary with every child, rules change with age and each child demands fairness and equality between siblings. As impossible as it sounds, a parent tries their very best.

 Living and learning, learning is living! I've accepted the things I can not change in others and in myself. I'm working on my courage to change the things I can, and wisdom comes with age and in time to know the difference. Abiding by my children's unwritten rules, and my friends unspoken wishes, I can only grow with learning to Hold It In.

 'Hold It In' has brought my friends closer, gained more trust in my kids and actually it has made my heart grow. I'm truly bursting with pride. Some things in life are worth the silence, it's taken me years to realize its significance and I know I'm still learning to Hold It In.

Who's Homework Is It Anyway?

Who's homework is it, anyway?

A mom emailed me this note right before school started:

"Good Morning. I was up half the night. I am so stressed out that I won't be able to help my daughter with her school work. Help!"

My answer:

Ok

#1. It's only middle school, you can breathe

#2. It's her homework, not your homework

#3. This is the perfect time in life for you to let her take full responsibility for her actions.

It is hard as heck not to help them when you can, but this is the way they grow up to be responsible adults.

#4. Your job is simple. Just make sure she is doing her job (homework).

#5. Quiz her for tests and exams even if she doesn't think she needs it.

#6. Stay on top of it at all times, you slip (or relax) and she will too!

#7. Remember, No homework will be assigned that wasn't covered in class.

If the homework instructions, or problems, are not clear, it's her fault she didn't ask at school. Again, not your fault.

Learning responsibility and the consequences are two reasons middle school is so difficult for kids. If you "feel sorry" for them and do their homework for them in middle school, be prepared to do their work as adults.

Freedom is Never Free!

Remembering: Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a national day of remembrance in honor of those who have died to obtain and preserve our USA freedoms.

War casualties: Revolutionary War (1775-1783) 4,435 total deaths. War of 1812 2,260 total deaths. Mexican War (1846-1848) 12,283 total deaths. Civil War (1861--1865) 364,511 total deaths. Spanish-American War (1898-11901) 2,446 total deaths. World War I (1917-1918) 116,516 total deaths. World War II (1941-1946) 405,399 total deaths. Korean War (1950-1953) 36,574 total deaths. Vietnam (1964-1973) 58,220 total deaths. Persian Gulf War (1990-1991) 383 total deaths. Iraq War (2003-current) 4,421 (as of mid April).

Freedom is never free!

A Valentine Eve - Random Act of Kindness

Today’s Random Act of Kindness … Valentine’s Eve day, I was at our local Wal-Mart along with a third of the town's population, searching for that perfect little Valentine’s treat. While exiting, a gust of wind stripped a heart-shaped balloon from an elderly lady’s hand. The helium was not fresh, so the heart-shaped balloon bounced wickedly along the ground. I ran forward with the cart trying to trap the balloon, but it escaped. Leaving my cart behind, I went running after this wild balloon. It danced, I danced. It swirled and I swirled, we spun and we dashed. Huffing and puffing, panting and laughing, I jumped high batting it back to the ground as the wind hurled it once more. I heard the elderly lady cheer as I finally grabbed hold. As I held the balloon, I noticed the highly amused audience that had gathered. I could do nothing but laugh harder at myself to hide my total embarrassment. Carefully I handed the balloon over to its owner, knowing I looked like some crazed lady chasing a balloon in the parking lot. The woman gently touched my arm and thanked me. I looked her in the eyes as she told me that this special balloon was for her husband’s grave and she didn’t know what to do if I didn’t catch it. My heart sunk and skipped a beat as the laughter from the audience faded. This evening my heart smiles because I gave that extra effort and sacrificed looking like a buffoon to make this Valentine’s brighter for a complete stranger.

Random Act of Kindness with a Twist

Yoga might not appeal to a person that seems as flexible as a two-by-four. Who would want to make spectacle of themselves by attending a Yoga class without the ability to touch your toes? The thought of a Yoga class gave me nightmarish visions, because yes, I am the two-by-four. I started hearing more and more people talk about Pilates, curiosity was evident, however, every person that spoke passionately using the word Pilates were undeniably health and fitness freaks. You know the type; tall, skinny, great posture and you never-ever see them eat a dessert. Yes, that type! Pilates and Yoga became taboo.

Random acts of kindness drives my everyday life. Whether it is picking up something that someone else dropped, holding a door open for a stranger, and sometimes it’s a much bigger act. Random acts are rarely returned, but that is not the point. The gain is how good it makes you feel. Unexpectedly I received a gift for what was a random act of kindness. A one hour private Pilates session and the appointment was already made for 11:00AM on Tuesday. No wiggle room there, I had to go or be rude! Not knowing what to expect or what to do, I went. Yoga, I still haven’t tried, but this Pilates “thing” I haven’t stopped going! Once a week or more, I attend a session. It has improved my flexibility, strength and posture. Personally, my lower back no longer aches every day and I noticed I now have incredible balance. Adding Pilates to my weekly exercise routine has given me amazing results.

A reward for a random act of kindness is rare, especially a full hour Pilates session. This note from me to you … is a random act of kindness. My goal is to entice you to attend a Pilates class, even if you too are a two-by-four.

Add As Friend - Follow Me

Approximately eight years ago, I was introduced to social networking. My Space and Facebook took our schools and our teens by storm. Our teenagers and our preteens were sucked into their computers checking status updates and “friending” everyone they knew and meeting online people who became their “friends”.

My son and I were surfing around Facebook, reading some newly posted status and uploaded pictures. We clicked through the images of his classmates, laughing at fun pictures of embarrassing moments caught on camera. One more click and total silence flooded the room. My son, stood up and walked away embarrassed. I was left with the images, as they burned into my brain.

Uncertain about telling the girl’s mother about the pictures, but at the same time assuming her parents knew nothing about them, I decided it was necessary to snitch. As a parent I would like to know if my teen, or pre-teen, posted pictures on the world wide web that may incriminate or expel them from school. Approaching the mom was awkward, but necessary. I found out that the mom knew about the pictures, in short, she told me, “to fuck off.” She informed me it was only an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and her seventh grade daughter was just having some fun. Wow! .... Wow! Her final words to me, “mind your own fucking business.” What an introduction to social networking and the ignorance of parenting. Lesson taught!

The irresponsible youth, and the ill-advised or uncaring parents can ultimately destroy lives. Knowing how to "work" the social networking products is what makes them amazing. Be aware, universities and future employers can peek at their future students and employees social networking pages, or “walls”. This helps the secondary schools, universities, and the corporations decide who they want representing their institution. Don't let that little lock symbol and little privacy button fool you. They can view your "Friends Only" accounts.

If adults can get "slammed" on social networking sites, think of the devastation it can have on young teens. Facebook has an age minimum requirement of thirteen, however I have FB "friends" that are younger. Twelve year-olds are updating their “single” and “in a relationship” status every day. The next post is a new updated profile picture of them kissing their new significant “in a relationship” partner. I’m curious wondering if any of the parents are monitoring these updates. Don't get me wrong, I love social networking. My Facebook "friends" and my Twitter follower’s rock! Eight years ago my kids who "let me" peek at their friend’s “walls.” Now I have my own account and my kids were crazy enough to accept me as their “friend.” I don't snoop or “stalk” walls, but I do enjoy commenting on updates on my News Feed, this helps me stay connected to my Facebook "Friends". I use Twitter because I love to read and learn from all of the tweets. I don't have a lot of personal contacts on Twitter, but I do love reading tweets, especially inspirational quotes, and I could spend hours checking out people's blogs if I had the time.

So, add me as friend or follow me on Twitter. I encourage positive tweets and status updates, whinnying comes with it, but people in this world need encouragement, inspiration, reinforcement and as well as well wishes. I urge you to share optimism, it can go along way!

Life Lessons

“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it” ~ Lyndon Johnson

In life, everyday there are lessons learned. If you evaluate each lesson, you can hope for improvement as a person. Realizing the experience is a mechanism, it will allow you to engage in a life with rewards. If you ignore them, your life lessons, it could possibly cause stupidity and ignorance. Wouldn’t you want to embrace your failures and succeed, rather than settle for mediocrity?

When is the time to reflect and time to acknowledge life lessons? I will use myself as an example. I’m one of the hardest headed, stubborn people I know. Lessons learned had to be walloped across my head before I realized the lesson being taught. Yes, now is the time to reflect and realize that your everyday occurrences are your life lessons. Take what you can, digest it but make the experience your own! Two or more people can share an experience however they’ll end with different synopses. Embrace each lesson because it’s so easy to let them slip by.

Lessons of Lies and Truths! I learned early in life that keeping track of lies, impossible and too complicated, so telling the Truth prevails! Another lessons learned, another experience taken. Why do so many people lie? Are people too ignorant to see that they are ultimately teaching their kids to lie? A lie told, is a disappointment for all.

We can recall the bumps in the road, or the walls we hit, and the trials and tribulations of our youth. Recently my youth’s actions were slammed in my face like a ten pound snowball being thrown by a major league pitcher. As a youngster, I was a shy, extremely reserved, and I had very little confidence. Then I was tossed into the ring, a real show ring, there I was trained as well as the horses I rode. My instructor was world renowned and under her instruction I won multiple championship titles. Being a champion, did that caused an uprising of a teenage monster? I started questioning myself, and my actions of my past. Was I a little teenage bitch? I was quiet, very competitive, and was disliked by other competitors because I 'cleaned house' most every time I entered the show ring. So was I, you know, a bitch? I was the type of person who practiced continuously, most of my teenage life I put aside, to excel and be my best at riding horses. My trainer empowered me and my competitive nature and talent did the rest. My twelve year old niece came to live with us six months ago and I found myself saying these words; "You may be the princess but I am the queen." The equestrian lessons I learned, priceless! My social behavior, maybe in question, however my recollections of the countless lessons are invaluable, inside and outside of the show ring.

Today’s challenge would be to convince my niece not to take the hard road, and to avoid brick walls. Passing on my life lessons, tools that will help her succeed and vault her into becoming the wonderful young lady that she has the potential to be. Using life lessons to help someone else, seems nearly impossible. Some things you simply have to learn for yourself. Sometimes you just have to learn from hitting your walls.

A new life challenge seems impossible since teenagers seem to have it all under control. Here are a few quotes I’ve collected: “You don’t understand” followed by “but it won’t happen to me” and then the final and my least favorite teenage quote “I know!” Teenage boys, almost a piece of cake, but teenage girls are a whole other cake recipe all together. Angel Food Cake vs. Devil’s Food Cake

"Develop success from failures." ~ Dale Carnegie

The last thing we want is for our children to fail. We can guide them, teach them, but they need their own hills to climb and even tumble down. We can only pick them up, dust them off and let them continue on their own life journey. As we sit, hoping and praying, that they succeed.

Write What I Know!

Sitting and watching middle school basketball games is my Saturday activity, now that I'm guardian of my twelve year old niece. Every game this season, I sat on the cold hard bleachers cheering for her, while she cheers for her team. I sat and observe people, parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and friends, who attended the game. It's been years since I sat and watched a middle school basketball game. My oldest son played basketball through his senior year of high school and even considered playing at the University of Central Florida. I would have loved to see that since right now UCF has a 12-0 season record, but I regress, back to middle school basketball games.

Game after game, I've been listening to parents fuss at the referees. The shouting escalates to screaming. Soon parents start yelling at coaches and then yelling in the direction of the players. I'm wondering if anyone takes into consideration that the players are only twelve to fifteen years old. It is inconceivable that parents are screaming at the kids!

I have watched parents actually stop the coach before the locker room, both at half time and after the games. I assume the parents are complaining about the coaching or that their kid was not getting enough playing time. I assume this because of the parent’s body language. However, it’s not only the parent’s bad manners I am observing. After attending every middle school game this season I witnessed the opposing cheerleaders cheer "Miss It" while my niece’s middle school team attempts free throws. Really! Is this acceptable behavior? Is it the parenting or coaching?

I know that sports have changed. It’s simply; terrible sportsmanship that I observed. Our society IS what we teach! And that is What I Know!

Give it the One-Two Punch!

Just when you thought no one knew,

no one remembered or no one cared

...

You find that one little token,

one little thought

...

somebody remembered,

someone cared!

A bag was placed around the Darlington School's Silver Lake

in Honor of

...

Let's take-out Cancer,

Beat it...

-

Fight it with everything we have!

This Pilot's Packing

Recently I read a Blog listing tips for traveling successfully. Being a pilot’s wife, one would think I had traveling down to a science. No I don’t, but I believe my pilot husband does! Funny how people assume the spouse knows the details of the occupation held by their partner. When I travel, I typically travel for leisure which involves traveling with children … alone!

The first tip: Enjoy the journey to the destination as much as you will enjoy the destination itself.

This author apparently is not traveling with kids! Packing games, books, computers, iPods, Game Boys, DS’s, the list goes on … trying to occupy and help distract them from the fact they are sitting, touching one another, in a closed “container” for hours and hours. “You are in my space” will come out, not like adults, kids do not hold back! If the plane happens to have the TV built into the seat in front of them – I just want to say sorry in advance to the poor souls sitting in that seat - the games are touch screen, need I say more? But the plane ride is not the most stressful part of the journey. It is in-fact passing through SECURITY.

Problem #1 Security insists that everyone hold their own boarding pass. The likely hood getting through the whole security process and the child still possessing his or her boarding pass is simply mind blowing.

Problem #2 A parent’s eyes must travel from one kid to the next, keeping our possessions guarded, and taking shoes off, grabbing enough bins for shoes, computers, games and junk while the people behind start grabbing bins and start trying to pass us, while frustrations sets in. Scrambling to find the little bag of “liquids” and place it in the bin. If you fail to do this you might be “stripped searched” on the other side!

Problem #3 To add this to the mix; one of my children has a Medtronic Reveal “device” in his chest. OK first never, EVER call it a device in an airport! He must hold his Medtronic Card along with his boarding pass and enter a whole new line by himself. While I can see, but cannot hear, the security guards talking to him, they point to the back of our line and try to dismiss him. He holds his Pacemaker card up higher and then he receives strange looks as they finally read the card and take him past the line of scanners and continue to the area for a complete search.

Problem #4 This is the point where timing is everything. The plan is to get through the metal detector scanners at the same time my son does with his “Pacemaker”. I don’t like one of my children, being frisked and patted down while I am preoccupied with rustling two other children, our stuff, shoes, boarding passes and then repacking back packs. My eyes continue traveling from each child, now in two locations. TSI people questioning computers, lotion baggies, location of boarding passes and they want to see my ID again! While hearing, “Mom, he just cut. Mom they are cutting line. Mommmmm”

Problem #5 The lacking of total patience, may cause extra attention. Now that I must look like I want to slap the Security person, they decide to hand search our bags. Directing us over to another table, we now have items spread all over like a yard sale; while continuing to gather shoes, computers, baggies, cell phones, back packs and yelling instructions to the kids. Now the questions come from the TSA man that I just can’t believe: “Why do you have two computers, an extra backpack and two baggies of ‘liquids’?” Annoyed I snapped, “YOU have my third child, pointing over my shoulder, I have his things!”

Problem #6 This process took so many security guards away from their command post … my question would be: Did that cause or permit a “bad guy” to pass by security?

Lately I traveled alone for the first time in … oh maybe 21 years. I have to agree that I tried to enjoy the journey to my destination as much as I could. Even though I hate sitting for fourteen hours, I met some really neat people, read, listened to uninterrupted music, watched a movie and took a cat nap or two, taking advantage of my time alone. Besides my butt being incredibly sore the journey was, I guess I could say, enjoyable. Passing security was certainly a breeze childless. However, while going through the process I was able to observe some very interesting procedures. Because the fact that my husband is a pilot I couldn’t help but notice the airline pilots being scanned by security. They were showing their badges, bags being inspected and even opened then searched. What could the pilots be carrying or sneaking on the plane? What struck me is when I noticed one of the captains being searched. He was padded down and then the security guard used his wand and waved it over every inch of his body. As the pilot held out his arms I noticed he was packing. So really, what was the security guard looking for if the pilot was carrying a gun? Would a wand really find something worse than a gun? Will they take his razor away if they find one in his bag? A pilot – they are tested, licensed, certified, researched – but what do I know, I’m just the wife of one! However, my common sense was still fighting with this patting down and wand search of this captain which he is obviously licensed to carry a gun. In my opinion wasn’t his biggest weapon, the actual plane itself? Wondering what TSA’s guidelines could possibly say that they needed to wand a certified licensed pilot carrying a registered gun?

Next Tip – Leave your “comfort” Zone at home …

Hawaii 2010

Bolting off with a minutes notice I found myself on a plane to the big island of Hawaii. A teaching photo shoot at a beautiful location - I couldn't resist!

My student became ill and I found myself alone with no car for excursions and no money to join any tours. So I decided to walk! Walking for miles, hours to explore my surroundings. Finding myself window shopping at every local art shop and booth in Kona. Meeting local artists and loving their work. Now refreshed and reflecting on the islands beauty.

Good for the soul, the heart and the mind! Aloha

A Place I Call Home

A place I call home –

The seven mountains roll and three rivers run

Hundreds of church bells ring.

History runs deep – into the deep deep South

In a place I call home –

Never have I seen the snow cover my backyard

A dusting or a frightful freeze

And only Black Ice haunts our winding roads

On the way to the place I call home –

Iridescent

Breathtaking

Brilliance

Covering the place I call home

From Sand to Grass

Focusing on a cheap statue of a strange horse with very long ears, I began to sink deeper into the car’s seat. Missing my old school, friends, palm trees and the sun shining. We left the surf, surfers and beach bunnies for farmer boys and ‘not so many’ Daisy Dukes. Wishing I didn’t have to get out of bed today. Starring back at me in the mirror, a dude so out of place, I flipped my blonde hair out of my eyes and made my way down the cold dark hall looking for my locker. Feeling eyes following my every move. It was easy to realize, I’m different. The guys looked as if they have been taking steroids since birth and wore old t-shirts with GA Bulldog Football decals. I wore my regular everyday surf shorts, flip flops, button down shirt and guitar pick necklace. Girls glanced and giggled, guys starred and growled as I let my hair slightly fall back over my eyes. Recognizing that, this surfer dude has been left on the beach without a board.

Now at Butts County Middle School, next year … Butts High? My old friends can never know! I will have to change my Twitter name, never ‘friend’ anyone here, the fear that someone would post “Go Butt High” on my Facebook wall. Who was allowed to name this county after the Butts family and who was the moron who made the mascot a Jack Ass? How many jokes can one take, unfortunately I will find out! My new Facebook status will have to read: Just sitting on my Ass, in Butts County. Or my last Tweet on Twitter will read: Get off my Ass I’m stuck in Butts County. They will be climbing all over my ass with jokes.

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